I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
pray to the hookup gods
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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