Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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