Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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