Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
