i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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