i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
