do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
