drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
