Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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