20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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