i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
