I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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