just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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