i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
