Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
