the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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