I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
