I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize