tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
