Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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