Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
