so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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