i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
