K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
