am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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