I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
