if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
