Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
