I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
