I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
