Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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