i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
