Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
