My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize