I wish they made helmets for livers.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize