If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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