The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
OPIZZABONMYDICK
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
