I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
