You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
