Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize