you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
