is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
