Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
