I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
