He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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