i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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