paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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