hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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