i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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