Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
