I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
