Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Verdict: uncircumcised.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
