Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
