gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
