your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
