if i can run in heels then i can drive
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
