I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
