but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
