It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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