Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im holly from the hills drunk
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
wow bdsm is so cute
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