If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
