i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize