somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He told me they were just razor bumps!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
