called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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