You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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