It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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