Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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