Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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