She's JV to your varsity
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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