I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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