Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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