that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
