you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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