Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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