I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
