Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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