Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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