I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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