bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
