she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
