i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
