Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize