My pussy is not your playground.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
