I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
